On the first day God created light and separated the light from the darkness, calling light "day" and darkness "night." Light, or “good”, would be the substance of Koreans, the dark, or “bad”, would be the substance of Waegoogs.
On day two God created an expanse to separate the waters and called it "sky" so that Koreans would have something to look at until TV and the Internet was invented.
On day three God created the dry ground and gathered the waters, calling the dry ground "land," marking part as Korea and he gathered waters "seas," in which put in it a big rock for Koreans to be obsessed with. On day three, God also created vegetation (plants and trees) so that Koreans can make Kimchi and make health drinks from bark.
On day four God created the sun, moon, and the stars to give light to the earth and to govern and separate the day and the night. These would also serve as signs to mark the four distinct seasons, days, and two years in one.
On day five God created every living creature of the seas to feed Koreans and every winged bird, blessing them to multiply and fill the waters and the sky with life.
On day six God created the animals to fill the earth. On day six, God also created a man (Han) and a woman (Kim) in his own image to commune with him. He blessed them and gave them every creature and the whole earth to rule over, care for, and cultivate.
On day seven God had finished his work of creation and so he rested on the seventh day, blessing it and making it holy.
One day Kim was hiking a mountain when Serpent appeared and asked her: “Did God really say you are not allowed to eat and drink anything in this great garden?” She replied: “We may eat and drink anything, but we may not drink from the green bottle at the top of the mountain or we shall sorely die.” The serpent then told her that they would not die, but would have their eyes opened so that they could see the fun and social interaction that would not be possible without the bottle.
That was all it took to convince her, for Kim was stupid and after she drank from the bottle, she went to find Han and convinced him to drink from the green bottle. As soon as he drunk from the bottle, their eyes were opened and they saw that they were naked, so the set about making outfits to serve every occasion and type of physical activity.
Then they heard the voice of God and tried to hide, but the garden was small and God found them easily. They tried to explain but went about it in such a roundabout way that God got bored and stopped listening. In his anger he banished them from the garden, to earn their living with long hours and lots of stress, and to conceive many children who would run around, make lots of noise and beg for food and candy every chance they get.
But Han was not happy with this decision and invoked the universal law of final decision. The law that everyone is required to abide by, no matter how unhappy they are with the outcome…
Han lost.
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