Confusing…confusing…confusing.

I’m trying to find a charity here so that I can help out once or twice a week. I have no idea what I can do, but the only way to find out is to go to a charity organisation and see what they can use. One of my adult students mentioned that she knew the woman who is the main person for charity in this city, and she would take me to meet her. Sweet!

We arrange a time and a place to meet so that she can take me to the Main Lady of Charity. A few minutes before meeting time I get a call. I’m still on my way to the meeting spot and after telling me she is already at the meeting point the conversation ends. Just as I arrive at the spot I get another call:

“Hello?”
“Hello.”
“I am at **** School”
“Yes. I know. I just got here, but I don’t see you.”
“I’m at **** School”
“Yes. So am I, but I don’t see you.”
“I’m at **** School. Do you know **** School?”
“I’M HERE NOW.” “Yes. I know it. I am here now.”
“I’m waiting at the gate…Do you know **** School?”
“Yes…um…what does your car look like?”
…

I do try to speak slowly, so please don’t think I am rattling of what I am saying.

A few seconds later I stop my scooter in front of her parked car, get off and walk to her car, driver side. Even after speaking it takes her about 30 seconds to realise who I am.

After a short conversation explaining that this is my scooter, which I mentioned, she sits back in her seat and just looks in front of her, saying nothing. I wait a few seconds and ask “A we waiting for the other lady?” to which she replies with just “10 minutes.”

About 60 seconds later she points to my scooter and the conversation goes like this…

“How?”
I look at my bike, thinking she is asking how I got it. It seems like a silly question, so I give it a second.
“How…uh…how?”
“Urm…how what?”
“Autobike…how?”
“How did I buy it?”
“How?”
“How what?”
“How……how……how…my car……my car……you in my car…how?”
“Me in your car? Why?”
“Go to other women…other women…women...other women.”
“We are not waiting for her?”
We waited for 60 seconds after she said 10 minutes, and now she wants to leave?
“I will follow you”
Blank expression.
“Me, on the scooter, behind you.”
Blank expression.
“You, car, go…me, scooter, behind, follows” (hand gestures included)

After a nerve racking drive to a place just a few blocks away, which she seems to be searching for the whole time we were on the move, we stop. We park our transport and start walking in some direction, when she suddenly stops.

“How?”
“Erm?”
“How?”
“How what?”
“How…how……..how?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“How are you helping?”
“Oh. I don’t know. I don’t even know what they do.”
“…”
“That is why we are meeting her, so that I can see how I can help.”
“Money…money…how much?”
“Huh?”
“How much money…money…money…how much…will you give them…give…give them…how much?”
“Nothing. No money. I want to do something.”
“No money?”

And that is basically the end of the whole night. About a minute later we parted because she was under the impression the whole time that I wanted to donate money.

I don’t donate money to an organisation that I know nothing about. I am offering my services because I am sure they need someone to do something.

Later that night she called saying that I can teach English one night a week, free of charge. Honestly, I don’t see the point of that. What benefit will that have to anyone, except that people who are in no mood to pay for lessons with the expectation that I will somehow MAKE them speak English without them even trying, will turn up.

Part of the conversation to tell me about this idea went like this:

“Maybe you can teach English”
“Yes, maybe.”
“After school.”
“Yes”
“Week”
“U-hu.”
“After school…week…one time…a week…week.”
“Yup, once a week”
“A week….week…a week”
“Yup”
“Week…you can teach English…week”
“OK”
“After school, at night, you can teach English”
And…so…on.

This might be the most confusing person I have ever spoken to.