Wash your hands, chirren

A while back I had people laugh at me, again, for being weird. I said that men should wash our hands BEFORE we whip it out to wet the bowl. I believe that if had a bath/shower in the last, let us say in the last 12 hours, and I washed everything thoroughly, then my penis would be clean, but that the same can not be said for my hands.

We generally get dressed in clean clothes, or at least clean underwear, shortly after a shower. This means that out sparkly genitals does not come in contact with anything dirty for quite some time. I can hear you thinking “Dick Cheese” as I type…

Smegma, which comes from the Greek word for soap, is a combination of dead skin cells, oils, moisture, and bacteria that accumulates under the foreskin and within the vulva… Smegma, a white emollient, provides moisture to the genitals, keeping them smooth and soft. Smegma can protect both the penis and vagina from dirt and infection because of its antibacterial and antiviral properties. It is quite beneficial to overall genital health.

Did you see all that? Anti-viral properties. Protect. Moisture. Our Sparklies stay rather clean unless we mess with them.

Our hands, on the other hand (get it) come in contact with dirty stuff almost from the moment we leave the bathroom, and often even in there as well. We pick up and touch all kinds of things that would be considered dirty.

The main pathogenic bacteria which are likely to be found on the hands are Staphylococcus, Corynebacteria, Streptococcus, E coli, Myobacteria, and Haemophilus, all in different concentrations. I will not mention all the shit we pick up from surfaces in public areas.

Do you hold on to the rail on the escalator? Ever wondered who did the same after wiping their butts without washing their hands afterwards? Ever read research of just how much faecal matter is on surfaces in public areas? Think about who put their hands on that table before you put your utensils there. The cloth used to wipe the table has more bacteria than pretty much anything else in the room, and we are talking disgusting amounts more.

So, with that in mind, is it really that farfetched for me to say that it makes sense to wash our disgusting bacteria covered hands before touching your still clean penis?

 

p.s.

You might think that I am a germ phobic, but I am not. The human body can protect itself pretty well, and by allowing small amount of bacteria in to your body you are probably just making the body stronger rather than sick. Don’t go licking the escalator handles though.

Constantly washing your hands with anti-bacterial soap is likely the worse things you can do. Hospitals have super bacteria because they use anti-bacterial all the time, Germs that are not killed by this end up coming back stronger and with friends. Your best bet is to just wash your hands regularly with normal soap, or at least before you stick your fingers in your mouth.