I hate Erasers!

One of the 3rd grade questions for this week’s speaking test was “What is least important to you?” I got a few packaged answers where the students would just pick one thing and use it for all their answers, e.g. “Family is least important to me.” Really? Family?

One boy took the proper route. After receiving his question he took about two seconds to think about it, saw an eraser on the table and decided “Erasers are least important to me.”

How can I not give him full marks for innovation?

It’s cheap? I’m there!

Anyone heard about the cabbage shortage in Korea? Yes? Oh, YOU didn’t? Let me tell you.

Koreans LOVE kimchi. Oh, you knew that already? Anyway, some people just like the taste, some people just eat it because that is what Koreans do and some people actually believe it is super healthy, so healthy, in fact, that is basically the cure for AIDS and SARS and anything else you can think of. There are very few of the latter, mind. Whatever the reason, most Koreans have kimchi pretty much with every meal.

With the recent rains that just did, not, want, to, stop, there’s been issues with rising fruit and vegetable prices in Korea. One of the vegetables that is pricy now is the Chinese cabbage. “Why, what, so?” you might say, to which I will replay “The most popular type of Kimchi, Baechu Kimchi, is made from this particular vegetable”.

Over the last few weeks we have seen quite a few articles in the English news regarding the rising price of cabbage and this will affect the service of kimchi in the restaurants and what not. If there were that many in the English language news, then I can only imagine what the Korean language news was doing. There’s even been a government task grout assigned to this. National disaster, I tell you.

Yesterday one of the students from the adult class was late and someone decided to call her. Turn out she was queuing outside a local super market with a special on, wait for it…CHINESE CABBAGE!

YES! She was queuing, and being late for class because of a special on a single vegetable! It gets better.

There were only 100 boxes of cabbage, each box containing 3 heads. Each person was only allowed to buy one box, so my students did the only things she could…and asked two friends to go with her so that she can get three boxes, i.e. 9 heads of cabbage.

Now, I completely understand the situation and how important it is to get her hands on that particular box of cabbage, but I am a foreigner and from my point of few this is just too funny not to write about. Lucky my students understand that I am not making fun of them when I laugh, but merely relating how it looks from my point of view. We had a good old giggle when she came back.

p.s. I asked her to take photos, but I forgot to ask her if she did. Hope she did so that I can add the Koreans queuing for cabbage.

How do you spot the BS advertising?

When all the prices in the adverts for things happening in Seoul are in dollars, or when every single person in the adverts are white?

Confusing…confusing…confusing.

I’m trying to find a charity here so that I can help out once or twice a week. I have no idea what I can do, but the only way to find out is to go to a charity organisation and see what they can use. One of my adult students mentioned that she knew the woman who is the main person for charity in this city, and she would take me to meet her. Sweet!

We arrange a time and a place to meet so that she can take me to the Main Lady of Charity. A few minutes before meeting time I get a call. I’m still on my way to the meeting spot and after telling me she is already at the meeting point the conversation ends. Just as I arrive at the spot I get another call:

“Hello?”
“Hello.”
“I am at **** School”
“Yes. I know. I just got here, but I don’t see you.”
“I’m at **** School”
“Yes. So am I, but I don’t see you.”
“I’m at **** School. Do you know **** School?”
“I’M HERE NOW.” “Yes. I know it. I am here now.”
“I’m waiting at the gate…Do you know **** School?”
“Yes…um…what does your car look like?”
…

I do try to speak slowly, so please don’t think I am rattling of what I am saying.

A few seconds later I stop my scooter in front of her parked car, get off and walk to her car, driver side. Even after speaking it takes her about 30 seconds to realise who I am.

After a short conversation explaining that this is my scooter, which I mentioned, she sits back in her seat and just looks in front of her, saying nothing. I wait a few seconds and ask “A we waiting for the other lady?” to which she replies with just “10 minutes.”

About 60 seconds later she points to my scooter and the conversation goes like this…

“How?”
I look at my bike, thinking she is asking how I got it. It seems like a silly question, so I give it a second.
“How…uh…how?”
“Urm…how what?”
“Autobike…how?”
“How did I buy it?”
“How?”
“How what?”
“How……how……how…my car……my car……you in my car…how?”
“Me in your car? Why?”
“Go to other women…other women…women...other women.”
“We are not waiting for her?”
We waited for 60 seconds after she said 10 minutes, and now she wants to leave?
“I will follow you”
Blank expression.
“Me, on the scooter, behind you.”
Blank expression.
“You, car, go…me, scooter, behind, follows” (hand gestures included)

After a nerve racking drive to a place just a few blocks away, which she seems to be searching for the whole time we were on the move, we stop. We park our transport and start walking in some direction, when she suddenly stops.

“How?”
“Erm?”
“How?”
“How what?”
“How…how……..how?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“How are you helping?”
“Oh. I don’t know. I don’t even know what they do.”
“…”
“That is why we are meeting her, so that I can see how I can help.”
“Money…money…how much?”
“Huh?”
“How much money…money…money…how much…will you give them…give…give them…how much?”
“Nothing. No money. I want to do something.”
“No money?”

And that is basically the end of the whole night. About a minute later we parted because she was under the impression the whole time that I wanted to donate money.

I don’t donate money to an organisation that I know nothing about. I am offering my services because I am sure they need someone to do something.

Later that night she called saying that I can teach English one night a week, free of charge. Honestly, I don’t see the point of that. What benefit will that have to anyone, except that people who are in no mood to pay for lessons with the expectation that I will somehow MAKE them speak English without them even trying, will turn up.

Part of the conversation to tell me about this idea went like this:

“Maybe you can teach English”
“Yes, maybe.”
“After school.”
“Yes”
“Week”
“U-hu.”
“After school…week…one time…a week…week.”
“Yup, once a week”
“A week….week…a week”
“Yup”
“Week…you can teach English…week”
“OK”
“After school, at night, you can teach English”
And…so…on.

This might be the most confusing person I have ever spoken to.

I have a happy in my tummy

I learned a new word today. A co-teacher in the lunch room use the word 시원하다, and had me repeat it. I remembered it and asked an English co-teacher if I remembered correctly. She confirmed that I was correct and also supplied me with a definition

“예. When you have a soup like 콩나물, you will feel warm and comfortable in your stomach. Especially when you have a hangover after drinking alcohol.^^”

She asked me if there was something similar in English and all I could think of was “Hearty Meal”, but Satisfying or Invigorating might also work. What do you guys think?

Hearty: Pronunciation: \’här-tē\
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): heart·i·er; heart·i·est
Date: 14th century

1 a: giving unqualified support (a hearty endorsement)
b: enthusiastically or exuberantly cordial : jovial
c: expressed unrestrainedly

2 a: exhibiting vigorous good health (1): having a good appetite (2): abundant, rich, or flavourful enough to satisfy the appetite

Korea is just ugly, maybe.

Korea is not the most beautiful country in the world. It can be, but at the moment it just isn’t. Compared to the vast spaces you get in countries like Australia, the US or South Africa, the landscape here is basically one continuous urban sprawl interrupted by small mountains and odd patches of rice farms. Korean cities all look the same and create what I like to call The Homogonous Mess. This mess is the main reason it can take newcomers to this country months to learn where the most basic of things are in their little cities and towns.

But even with this mess it is still an amazing country in many, many ways. Once you learn how to navigate the Homogonous Mess to find all the amazing back alley restaurants, shops and areas to go to when you need something specific, and once you learn where to go to relax away from the madness outside, then life here is great. Better yet, it is getting better.

When I talk to Koreans it is obvious that they are aware of the “ugliness”, but rightfully so Koreans are not completely ashamed of it. The ugliness is, after all, the result of the Miracle on the Han, one of the most incredible storied of a country picking itself up that you will ever learn about. Many Koreans do, however, feel that it is time for a change. Judging by the number of proposals that pop up every year for beautifying Seoul, and the number of projects already under way, it is obvious that the government thinks this as well.

For someone like me who does not live in Seoul, the changes are more apparent than for people in Seoul itself. The new apartment complex next to the Express Bus Terminal is a prime example of how Korea is working to beautify the country. The developers decided to develop this piece of land with building that are at odd angles to each other and fill the spaces with as many trees and as much grass as they can find. The architecture is a bit same-same, but at least it does not look like we are in Russia any more. All this makes for something that is quite pleasing to the eye when you go past it.

All along the Han River I can see parks are being revamped and cleaned up, and at more than one location new and interesting structures are being built to cater for the people visiting these parks. For a while now they have been trying to clean up the Han itself. Seoul has even started revamping whole neighbourhoods, and in the subways we are seeing posters everywhere for plans to create integrated park/buildings to make Seoul greener.

My personal favourite trend here is historic buildings are being renovated and destroyed buildings being rebuilt. Slowly Korea is becoming more “East Asian” but also more beautiful, and it is exciting to watch.